Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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