i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
