Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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