just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
His nipple licking is glorious
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