She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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