so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
