my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
