she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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