so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
