Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
