he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
