i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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