i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
