I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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