I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
