Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
