If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
