Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
