Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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