Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
