i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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