we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize