I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
