So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
