Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
