How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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