but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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