Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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