We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
