I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
