You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
