U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
