I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No subtext here. People are naked.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
