He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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