i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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