We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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