Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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