haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
