so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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