They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
