Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
