you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my liver is dry heaving
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
