I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
