This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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