I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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