I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
