Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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