You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
