11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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