This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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