She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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