You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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