I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
