Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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