just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
