she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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