sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
