I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
