Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
